Suites From Five Strangers 

    WARNING: These lyrics are unconfirmed and may be inaccurate. They represent the best attempt at deciphering the song we have yet to see. 

    the b-side to "Last Time Forever" 

    Part One: Rock n' Roll (That's) (Holland) 

      Get down... 

      Lads and lassies, boys and girls, welcome to the most unusual record of all time ever made: Five single minutes from five different people. Some classically brilliant, others utter crap. In my minute, I will be paying homage, paying thanks, paying five guineas, and paying a tribute to the greatest record producer of all time, Mr. "Big John" Goulie! 

      Big John Goulie would sit in the studio, he'd say to the engineer, "Engineer, is that tape rolling?" 
      "Yes Mr. Goulie that tape's rolling!" 
      He'd say, "Engineer, is the band playing?" 
      And the engineer would say, "You deaf wanker! I tell you every time the band's playing! What do you think that noise in the background is??" 
      And Mr. Goulie said "OK, I'm ready to rock and roll." 

      Guess we haven't heard a lot of Big John since he got his penis caught in a 24-track recording machine in Dallas in 1957. We love you Big John, and we thank you for giving us stereo as you know it. And if you've got a walkman, watch out! 

      Left right left right left right left right left right left right left right 
      left right left... 

      That's rock and roll !! 

    Part Two: Proxy Rock (Lavis) (instrumental) 
    Part Three: The Practising Clarinet (Difford) 
      The clarinet player 
      Practices his scales in the E flat, beneath me in sleep 
      Majestic and eastern 
      The places she leads me 
      The clarinet player, practices here 
      Does she know where she sends me 
      majestic and eastern 
      The practicing clarinet.... 
    Part Four: Spideey Goes to Tobago (Tilbrook) (instrumental) 
    Part Five: Who Wants to Be a Legionnaire? (Wilkinson) (instrumental) 
    Contributed by SJim (Rock n'Roll) & Lily Giordano (Clarinet) 

  • The B-side to "Last Time Forever".
  • This track is made up of five separate recordings, each written and produced by an individual band member. Each section is roughly one minute in length. Part 1 is "Rock n' Roll (That's)" by Jools. Part 2, "Proxy Rock" by Gilson. Part 3, "The Practising Clarinet" by Chris. Part 4, "Spideey Goes to Tobago" by Glenn. Part 5, "Who Wants to Be a Legionnaire?" by Keith.