If I Didn't Love You 
      If I didn't love you I'd hate you 
      Watching you play in the bath 
      A soap suds stickle back navy 
      A scrubbing brush landing craft 
      Your skin gets softer and warmer 
      I pat you down with a towel 
      Tonight it's love by the fire 
      My mind goes out on the prowl 

      If I If I If I If I If I 

      If I didn't love you I'd hate you 
      I'm playing your stereogram 
      Singles remind me of kisses 
      Albums remind me of plans 
      Tonight it's love by the fire 
      The wind plays over the coals 
      Passionate looks are my fancy 
      But you turn the look into stone 

      If I didn't love you 
      Would you sit and glow by the fire 
      If I didn't love you 
      Would you make me feel so 
      Maybe love me 
      Oh if I didn't love you 

      If I didn't love you I'd hate you 
      Cocoa mugs sit side by side 
      It's time to poke at the fire 
      But it's not tonight 
      Looks I find 
      Taking a bite on a biscuit 
      The record jumps on a scratch 
      Tonight it's love by the fire 
      The door of your love's on the latch 

      If I, if I, if I 
      Didn't, didn't, didn't 
      Love you, love you, love you

  • Chords
  • FROM THE ALBUM: Argybargy, it was the lead single from the album in the US. It was issued both on 7" vinyl and a special 5" "tiny collector's edition" in a hilariously edited version.
  • COMPILATIONS: Singles - 45's and Under (North American version), Classics and Excess Moderation.
  • ALSO APPEARS ON: The soundtrack album for the motion picture Boys.
  • From the Excess Moderation sleevenotes. Glenn: Substituted for "Labelled with Love" on the US release of Singles-45's and Under, this song from Argybargy was musically influenced by Talking Heads and won us a few friends over there. Chris: Singles remind me of kisses, albums remind me of plans... "Something/Anything" by Todd Rundgren did the trick for me, a low arm around the neck followed by the tremble in the right leg. Cunning and romantic in my early years as Mr. Suave.
  • Chris: "It came from one particular line: 'Singles remind me of kisses, albums  remind me of plans." that line I wrote first because I was going out with a Swedish girl at the time and I was finding it very difficult to make love with her. I found it very hard going, if you'll excuse the pun. So I put on a Todd Rundgren album, SOMETHING ANYTHING, that had a very long side to it, 28 minutes I think it is. I used to play that  because I knew I had 28 minutes to get it on with this girl. And that led me to write that line. And the rest of it followed on from there." (from a 1992 Song Talk interview by Paul Zollo)