Electric Trains  
    (Difford/Tilbrook) 
      When I was crowned a mummy's boy by friends I didn't like  
      I made a meal of trips to school upon my father's bike  
      I used to sit between his legs, perched on a piece of wood  
      If it ever rained on us, I'd slip beneath his hood  
      And at home the radio was on  

      From Julie Andrews to Jerry Garcia  
      Life was all fun and games  
      I was out of my head and underneath my bed  
      Playing with electric trains  

      At home the stereo was on  
      My head was filled with rock  
      I played a willow cricket bat guitar  
      And soloed round the clock  
      My records stacked up in a pile  
      Collected from the charts  
      And Top of the Pops  

      Kneeling with torchlight shining  
      Before me in my bed  
      My eyeballs stuck in readers wives  
      Pubic hairs proudly counted everyday  
      Manhood took me slowly  
      Out into the milky way 

      I chased the girls and made them cry  
      My hair grew down my back  
      The passing of my teenage years  
      Were spent down in the sack  
      I played guitar and formed a band  
      I puked up all night long  

      As people came to sit and stare  
      While I raced through my songs  
      The sound of music passed by me  
      Just like the Grateful Dead 

      (c) 1995 EMI Virgin Music Ltd.

  • Chords
  • FROM THE ALBUM:  Ridiculous, it was the second single from that LP. 
  • COMPILATIONS: Master Series, Up the Junction. 
  • OTHER VERSIONS: 1) A humourous remix by Glenn, called the "Narrow Gauge mix" appeared on "This Summer (remix)" CD single #1; 2) an acoustic performance by Chris and Glenn on the Razor and Tie release In Their Own Words Volume Two.
  • The BBC refused to play the single, claiming it wouldn't appeal to their hip young audience. Other victims of this BBC policy at that time included the Beatles ("Free as a Bird"), and Status Quo, who actually took the corporation to court over the incident.